A One-on-One (or 1:1) is a recurring work meeting with just two people: them and you. The purpose is to build an effective work relationship which is achieved through open two-way communication and creating a space where you build trust over time.
With your Direct Reports
This is the best starting point I know of to learn about 1:1s in general. Most of it also helps set the stage for 1:1s with your manager and peers, but your role in them is different. A different role results in different responsibilities and influences the agenda, so keep that in mind.
That said, here are recommended resources for running your 1:1s with your Direct Reports:
- Rolling Out the Manager Tools’ Trinity: If you’ve never kicked off regular 1:1s before, this podcast is for you. The folks at Manager Tools even provide a sample memo you can use and modify which I’ve done to set expectations effectively with my teams.
- One On Ones In a Hybrid Office Environment: In today’s post pandemic world many employees have returned to their office, but not all. Home office days are here to stay and you may even be working in a fully remote company that only gets together a few times per year. This podcast offers guidance for remote and hybrid working environments.
- The Manager Tools Data - One-On-Ones: If you or a direct report wants to learn more about this specific 1:1 model, give this podcast a listen. They share more background information of how they built this model and share learnings from past organizational experiments.
- 121 One-on-one Questions: I regularly come back to this long list of questions to add to my 1:1 agenda. Some of these may sound boring but I’ve always received insightful responses or useful feedback.
- The Update, The Vent, and The Disaster: Michael Lopp’s piece on 1:1s takes a different path compared to Manager Tools guidance. He goes deep into common scenarios and illustrates the role of the manager and potential responses.
With your Manager
Your 1:1 with your manager is the best place for Managing Up. This podcast gives a good overview on how to make the most of your 1:1 time with your boss. Thinking about your agenda and sharing it in advance is something I’ve practiced for years now and I can confirm that managers appreciate it greatly.
I like to label each of my agenda items so my manager can mentally prepare for each topic:
B = Briefing / G = Guidance / D = Decision / Q = Question / FB = Feedback
- Briefing: An update to my manager on a topic they care about. Often is just an FYI and doesn’t require time to discuss, but they can probe or ask if desired.
- Guidance: A type of briefing where I’m specifically looking for their input to drive progress or make a decision. Sometimes I want to rely on their expertise, for other cases it’s just to make them aware and increase their buy-in.
- Decision: A type of briefing where I’m looking to decide something right there and then. Typically relies on both parties being aware of the options and tradeoffs.
- Question: Sometimes I’m not looking for guidance but clear answers to specific questions.
- Feedback: I regularly ask for feedback even outside of performance review cycles. I’ve never gotten “too much” feedback in my career yet, and I rely on a monthly reminder to add this ask to all of my 1:1 agendas.
With your Peers
If your organization has multiple managers and you are one of them, figure out your most important peers and meet with them regularly. This will help you build trust with your peers which is an absolute necessity for any manager, and even more so for managers of managers and executives.
Getting the most out of your peer 1:1s works a little different. Coming prepared is the minimum to avoid a peer canceling this recurring meeting because they think it’s a waste of time. However, I’ve found the most value when talking about projects, processes, and people with them. It can turn into a safe space to demonstrate your leadership and support your peers in challenging situations which builds tons of trust.
First One-on-Ones
The very first 1:1 you’ll ever have with another person will feel a little different compared to when things are starting to fall into place. Maybe you don’t know each other at all, or you have worked in the same team before getting promoted. Your first 1:1 with anybody deserve a little extra preparation and Lara Hogan’s excellent blog post takes most of the work off your plate. I’ve asked my direct reports, peers, and even manager these light-hearted but effective questions. My first 1:1s got less awkward and filled with insightful comments, setting the stage for a productive collaboration in the future.